Presidential

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! I've taken quite the hiatus from posting because I've lost my photographer, but I met up with dear Samson who I forced to take some photos of me and I gotta say, I LOVE HIS WORK. Not just because it's of me. Check out his stuff at www.7braidstrong.com or follow him on insta @7braidstrong.

So okay, so much has happened and I've really missed writing so this may come out kind of long and rambly.

I was watching the U.S. elections like a hawk, I pretty much devoured any liberal leaning news (yes, I like my opinions to be validated by like-minded news - totally biased!) so as you can expect, I was disappointed when HRC wasn't elected.  I had hoped the U.S. would elect its first female president, and also because the civil rights causes that HRC champions are near and dear to my heart - Women's rights, equality for the LGBTQ community, and rocking pantsuits. Like come on, GO HILLARY! I actually teared up quite a during the 3 days post-election but life goes on!

Over here in Singapore, our parliament just passed a bill to amend our constitution with regard to our presidential election to propose racial representation. It seems a little forced to me, considering we're a meritocracy but I do believe in fairness and equality for all. And since I think our President tends to be a symbolic figurehead, k whatever. However, I can't wait to see the bill evolve into ensuring women are also equally represented. How about it eh?? WOOO GO CRAZY ANGRY FEMINIST!! Maybe I could be Singapore's first female president. VOTE FOR ME! My slogan will be "I'm with her (because she has pizza)".

So speaking about potential jobs for me... My dear friend Char suggested I start a vlog to talk about stuff I'm good at - like cleaning, being insane about dogs and being a strange dingbat. How fun would that be? Me droning on endlessly about cleaning products and how difficult it is balancing having a dog and being Singapore's first female president... SMASH HIT BABY. Unfortunately I don't think it's likely to happen since I'm bad with technology and I don't think anyone I know can bear following me around and videotaping me for long stretches of time without going batshit cray. But one can dream I suppose.

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I put that line in between because I'm now totally jumping to a new thought because it's kind of past my bedtime (10pm, yes I am a baby) and I'm feeling like there are a few things I have to just talk about.

1. I had an epiphany today and I think it's super valid and important - We women may all be one half mermaid - the top half! Slap on some shell bras and be your best half mermaid self my sexy lady friends.

2. If your name was Frank, would you use the phrase "I'm gonna be Frank with you" before dropping some truth, and would you smirk each time?

3. I am supposing in this scenario that you, like me, say 'excuse me' to the people around you when you sneeze. When you're alone, let's say in a room by yourself, maybe your dog is there. And you sneeze. Do you say "excuse me?" Asking for a friend.

4. Have you ever trolled a scammer? I had my first experience doing so. And it felt great after the fact. Apparently there are these scams going on where you get some call from "UPS" or "DHL" or some delivery company and they ask you to maybe transfer money or give them your kidney or something. So what happened was I receive a call from what appeared to be a local number, I answered and one of those automated voices come on and say something about a package and press 1 to be transferred to an operator. So I press 1 thinking "hmmm maybe I bought something I don't remember?" and some dude answers in crisp China style mandarin. He says a bunch of words and I say "I can't speak Chinese, can you please put me through to an English speaking operator" to which he responds "No" and hangs up. I was like WHAT KIND OF SERVICE IS THIS??? I wanted to call back and yell! Then it dawned on me. How annoying, what a waste of excitement over the fact that I might have been the recipient of some drunk online shopping I may have forgotten buying (it happens).

5. Did you know that I have magic words? I wrote this post on 2 July and it was dedicated to my sister who was pregnant. She had told me she was due between then and 10 July. And guess what? Less than 24 hours later, she went into labour and gave birth to a super cutie. I'm not saying I'm amazing or anything, but I may have the power to induce labour. I should most definitely be President of something.

Okay, thanks for reading, if you've made it all the way here, congratulations and what's wrong with you? Love yewwwww.