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And now, the continuation to my previous post. To recap, Glamour Magazine had this article about what women should know and have by the age of 30 which we obviously know to take for absolute law. If you haven't gone around getting this list checked off, you must not be ready for REAL LIFE.
30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Know by the Time She's 30
By 30, you should know:
Also important, how to not fall down or get lost.
2. How you feel about having kids.
No snarky response here. I respect all women and their decisions.
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
a) Scream "I QUIT!" then pee on your boss' desk and run away. b) Scream "I QUIT!" then pee on your boyfriend's desk and run away. c) Scream "HOW DARE YOU PEE ON MY DESK?" then pee on her desk and run away.
4. When to try harder and when to walk away.
a) When you're trying to open a jar of pasta sauce and you've already boiled the pasta. b) After you've farted in a public space.
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
I haven't managed to nail this one. Kissing to say 'I'm going to take a shower and then fall asleep' is really difficult.
6. The names of: the secretary of state, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town.
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
I could totally live alone as long as I had a dog or a few and then I could fulfill my dream of being a crazy dog lady.
8. How to take control of your own birthday.
I don't find pretending that it's not happening very difficult.
9. That you can’t change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.
It's like they've never heard of plastic surgery or being really bossy and forcing people to do things against their wills.
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
HALLELUJAH!
11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
I have a friend who would eat a fish chip squashed in someone's armpit for money. I think she would probably do the same for love. I wouldn't do either.
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long.
I think this is something you should know like at least by the age of 20. Honestly, it should just be known.
13. Who you can trust, who you can’t and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
a) My mom b) my mom when she says she bought me a donut c) it's in her nature to offer said donut to the three other people she's met prior to meeting me.
14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.
SORRY NOT SORRY
15. Why they say life begins at 30.
Because they are bad at numbers.
While these lists have some nuggets of wisdom, I would like to think that at the next milestone, whenever that is, the main thing you should have is moments of unadulterated happiness and to know that every person is different so checking off general lists of 'what we should know' is kind of silly.
Thanks for reading!
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